What is Confidence? You are!

Authenticity, Action and Adaptability in changing or challenging circumstances are the hallmarks of confidence - Brendon Burchard

I haven't posted in ages, that is life sometimes! I have so much admiration for those who blog regularly and have found their cadence - it is hard work to keep up a steady flow! Since this is a personal blog that started as an experiment, I'm okay with the infrequent posts - I have a lot on the go these days. A new puppy, a new partial-load teaching job at Centennial College, my work on the two publications I edit and author for Thomson Reuters, and work on my book.

Plus I have a ton of personal projects at home and doing some work on myself. Whew, that's just part of it. I can't forget about the family responsibilities. There is a lot to juggle and that's what finding your balance, your space or your harmony is all about. Be kind to yourself when some things slip. It's all part of finding your way. Life Works Well When you do! Find the right rhythm for you.

A Look at Confidence and How it Can Help

A few months back, I signed up for one part of Brendon Burchard’s online coaching series. I also picked up his book High Performance Habits - on my long list of books to read this year! I’m making my way through his book slowly when I have some time. I came across my notes on the first coaching module during part of my “Clear the Clutter Challenge”. So I thought I should review and share as there are some good nuggets here. [Note to self: stop writing on random pieces of paper, that’s what your books and journals, or computer are for.]

He suggests reading his Motivation Manifesto as well. I also picked this up to read as part of my journey to find "my next". Some people ask me why I bother. Sometimes there aren’t any reasons it just is.

The first lesson related to Confidence.

So what did I learn? I’ll share a little and my thoughts on what he shared, and you may want to check it out for yourself in the future.

Did I Live?
Did I Love?
Did I Matter?
Did I Make a Difference?
Did I Have a Good Time?

Those are questions that are important to BB. I love those questions. If we can answer YES to all of them, then our journey has been fulfilling and satisfying. If we haven’t quite done so, there remains time to start. I believe if I was to leave this earth tomorrow I can confidently say that I can answer YES to all of those questions! Yet maybe I have a little more living, loving, mattering, making a difference and having a good time to do! Bring it on!

Photo by Steve Harvey on Unsplash 

One of the things that BB suggests is to find your own strength and personal freedom to truly express who you are. For him, confidence is a Belief and a Feeling. You know in your heart that things will turn out well and that you are Willing, Worthy and Capable to excel. You give yourself permission to say “I belong here”. I like this and it relates to being bold.

I loved that last part, “I belong here”. For many people this is a challenge; we don’t quite seem to “fit”. You hear that often about workplaces and cultures, where people don’t align or aren’t the right “fit”. Maybe that is what fit means - that you know you belong there and are in the right place. I struggled for much of my childhood and adolescent years and even into adulthood, trying to find my place. I often felt out of place, in my family, at high school, and in many of my jobs. Globoforce’s movement of #WorkHuman embraces this motto “You Belong Here” - that is what you need to feel when you are at work. This applies equally at home and at play. This will bring you Confidence. That resonates well with me. Belonging.

Be Humble in Your Confidence Yet Courageous in Your Character - Melanie Koulouris

Confidence is not just how you stand, if you shout, or how you look. It’s about how you show up. How do you deal with stress, when things aren’t going well? How you show up in those moments will say a lot more about you then when things are peachy keen. Authenticity, Action and Adaptability in changing or challenging circumstances are the hallmarks of confidence. While Authenticity has become a bit of a buzzword right now, it remains relevant. This goes back to finding your own strength and freedom to express who you are. Be true to yourself. That’s Authenticity.

There was so much more that I learned, and in fairness to BB, I shouldn’t share it all. It’s worth the investment, and I plan to continue learning some high-performance habits through his online coaching courses.

Now some parting words from me. Remember that confidence isn’t arrogance or ego. That’s entitlement, over-certainty, over-confident.

Recently I spoke at a DisruptHR event in Kitchener-Waterloo. I had so much fun bringing my Hermione Granger character to life. I am a huge Harry Potter fan and could read the books and watch the movies over and over (I do ... currently on a Harry Potter fest with our son).

The DisruptHR talks are five-minute lightning talks - 20 slides, 15 seconds each and it isn't easy to time it all. I started to doubt myself, and then thought if people watch the video they are going to think this woman should do something with her hair!! Afterward, I realized I was simply being me and enjoying a little fun and laughter.

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Helen as Hermione, photo by Elizabeth Williams

Believe in you regardless and the confidence will shine through.

Be You. Be Real. Be Humble. Be Brave. Belong. Be Confident.

Helen aka H*Raiser has a passion for work-life harmony and mentorship. Her Life Works Well movement is in transformation. Stay tuned! Her personal mantra is #HumanFirst.


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